"Politically speaking, if I die, I die."

Yes. Please do. Expeditiously.

And I'll gladly dance at the funeral.

A quickie review of the new TRANSFORMERS, done in a point/counterpoint style.

Good thing: cooler robots this time around. Ravage, Soundwave, the Fallen, Devastator. Bad thing? Too many cool robots. They may be robots and they may be CGI, but they're still characters. And too many characters is never a good thing.

Good thing: Megan the Fox. Hotter than hell. Bad thing: Megan the Fox, being exploited like its a Cinemax feature. And she still ain't no great shakes as an actress.

Good thing: Still has the lighthearted humor I enjoyed in the first one. Bad thing: Also has some lowbrow humor forced into the screenplay with a shoehorn. Distracting and didn't fit. Also (again), there is simply no way that a robotic being from another planet would be sexually attracted to a human female, even if it is the aforementioned Megan the Fox. Having the little robot hump her leg was just stupid.

Good thing: Tony "Candyman" Todd, who provided the perfect voice for the Fallen. Bad thing: the two voice actors who performed as Mudflap and Skids. Some folks are saying it was racist. I won't go that far (they are robots, after all, not people), but it was too much.

Good thing: the FX were simply amazing. Bad thing: the film could have done with a little more characterization and emotional relevance, even at the expense of some of those FX.

Good thing: I liked the human characters. Bad thing: the human characters don't get enough screen time. (See above criticism.)

Good thing: Clever story idea involving the "grave of the Primes" and the reason why the Decepticons would want the Earth in the first place. (Good use of the Great Pyramid, too.) Bad thing: the clever story idea got dumbed down for the kids.

Bottom Line: Needs a good Editor.

WTF is the deal with us losing so many celebrities all at once? (And these are celebrities that I actually liked, no less.) Granted, Ed and Farrah had both been sick for some time. But Michael Jackson?! (And once more, for the record, I don't believe he did it. If somebody, anybody, molests your child, you call the cops or go get a gun. You don't call a lawyer and try to extort money from the guy.) And now the king of annoying commercials, the world's greatest--and loudest--cheesey product pitchman, Billy Mays, is gone. Sheesh. It's been a bad week.

SOCIAL CONSCIOUSNESS - IN A COMIC BOOK STORE, OF ALL PLACES

Check it out. My buddy Josh's store is in the news, because of what my other buddy Josh is doing there.

So for anybody what thinks geek boys are immature and need to grow up, I say, stick this in your fritter and fry it, bee-yotches.

I think I use the word pathetic way too much. Problem is, I haven’t been able to find a better one. And there’s just so much pathetic stuff out there. And pathetic people.

Paris Hilton, for example. Can you think of a better word to describe her than pathetic? I can’t, barring profanity. Call her a ‘Ho, sure, but being a ‘Ho is only a part of what she is.

Then there’s Perez Hilton. Someone whose entire life is dedicated to spreading gossip about celebrities like the aforementioned Paris. PA-THE-TIC. I suppose the word sad would also serve, but the P word fits better.

The National Enquirer? Pathetic. People who read the National Enquirer? Even more pathetic. The fact that the Jennifer Anniston/Angelina Jolie “feud” is on the cover of gossip rags like the National Enquirer EVERY SINGLE FREAKING WEEK? That is REALLY pathetic.

The fact that there are people out there who actually CARE about the Jennifer Anniston/Angelina Jolie “feud”? Most pathetic of all.

And it’s not just celebrities and celebrity-worshippers, either. There’s pathetic-ness to be found everywhere.

So what is the exact definition of pathetic, anyway? Webster’s says it is an act or condition “capable of arousing sympathetic sadness and compassion,” or “arousing or capable of arousing scornful pity.” When I use it, the word always has the latter definition. Emphasis on the scornful part.

When I over-use it, I should say. But again, there just doesn’t seem to be any better word. Nor does the word seem strong enough when used in connection to someone or something like the Hiltons or the Anniston/Jolie feud. Put it in all capitals, or put the F word in front of it. "Now that's just f*cking pathetic!" That’s all you can do.

I bet Shakespeare could have come up with a better word. Or made one up.

EVER HEAR OF "HEPATITIS" THERE, BUBBA?

Today I stopped at a service station to get gas for the car, and I had to take a wizz, so I dared to brave the dreaded men's public restroom. Holding my breath, I coaxed my bladder to greater speed as, in one of the stalls, a man was having diarrhea. Loudly. Now I realize this wasn't something he could help. No harm, no foul. I even felt a little sorry for the guy.

UNTIL.

He comes out of the stall, buckling his belt, and then leaves the bathroom. WITHOUT WASHING HIS HANDS.

I cringed. And I am cringing now, thinking about it.

So this is a message for all the guys out there. (For the most part, women tend to be more sanitary than men.) If you go to visit johnny, guys--wash your freakin' hands!!!

I saw an article that said that 95% of all blogs have now been abandoned. Probably for the best.

I don't get to spend as much time with this one as I once did, but at least it ain't abandoned, right? Right?!

(I do gotta get a new picture up, though.)